Hilarious typo on pack of sausages sends internet into hysterics after being spotted by eagle-eyed shopper

You can make it yourself at home. Just don't give me any. Hilarious typo on pack of sausages sends internet into hysterics after being spotted by eagle-eyed shopper: An Aussie meat supplier made the unfortunate error on a packet of Angus beef bangers in Adelaide

Testicle Festival canceled following deaths, attendance decline | Local | missoulian.com

A shame, when so many people were having a ball there. Testicle Festival canceled following deaths, attendance decline | Local | missoulian.com: After 35 years of drinking, nudity, debauchery and tens of thousands of Rocky Mountain oysters, the Testicle Festival is over.

Devon rapist who pretended to be ghost jailed for 26 years - BBC News

Wasn't a ghost but definitely a demon, but he'll spend a lot of time booing under sheets in jail. By the way, this grew from a Ouija board game; yet another reminder Satan is not to be f--ked with. Devon rapist who pretended to be ghost jailed for 26 years - BBC News: Liam Clarke knew his young victim was terrified of evil spirits and used that exploit her.

Homeowner finds naked intruder in her bathtub eating Cheetos - KMOV.com

Flaming Hot bath? And orange you glad she washed her hands?Homeowner finds naked intruder in her bathtub eating Cheetos - KMOV.com: Police in Louisiana say a woman came home to discover a naked stranger in her tub, eating her Cheetos while taking a bath.

'U Suck' sign sparks apology from Washington State transportation officials | Fox News

And worse, it followed a sign telling drivers to get off. 'U Suck' sign sparks apology from Washington State transportation officials | Fox News: A “training error” is to blame for an “inappropriate message” that was posted on a sign along Interest Highway 5 in Washington State on Tuesday, transportation officials said.

Exorcism by cellphone: Beating the devil in the 21st century

Imagine "dead zones" have deeper meaning here. Exorcism by cellphone: Beating the devil in the 21st century: About 200 aspiring exorcists gathered on Monday for a week-long course in casting out demons - including by cellphone if necessary - amid increased demand for the service among Roman Catholics.

German theatre offers free seats to spectators wearing swastikas | Euronews

Raise your hand heil if interested.German theatre offers free seats to spectators wearing swastikas | Euronews: German prosecutors said Wednesday that they would not investigate a theatre offering free tickets to people who accept to wear a swastika during a play named after Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf, because of artistic freedom laws.

Spiderman window washer sentenced to 105 years for child porn - KXAN

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, lock him up in the garbage can. On the Web, he's a perv. But in prison he'll lose his nerve. LOOK OUT! There goes the Spider-Man...Spiderman window washer sentenced to 105 years for child porn - KXAN:  “The sentence imposed by the Court should insure that this defendant will never have another opportunity to inflict his perverted sexual desires upon another innocent child."

St. Pete man arrested after lying about Hooters sign falling on foot - WFLA

 It's what you get for looking down at the OOs instead of up. St. Pete man arrested after lying about Hooters sign falling on foot - WFLA: A St. Petersburg man said the letter "o" from a Hooters sign blew off the wall and landed on his foot, leaving him with injuries. But video of the incident tells another story.

Only The Smelliest: Hokkaido Shoe Thief Caught On Tape Sniffing & Stealing Fragrant Footwear [Video] | Japankyo

Clearly a sick man, and police have consulted Dr. Scholl for treatment. Only The Smelliest: Hokkaido Shoe Thief Caught On Tape Sniffing & Stealing Fragrant Footwear [Video] | Japankyo: He's a somelier of stinky shoes. A man in Hokkaido with an alleged penchant for stealing odorous footwear has been arrested after police used security camera

NASA shoots human sperm into space | Science| In-depth reporting on science and technology | DW | 12.04.2018

No jokes about milky ways or black holes, please. NASA shoots human sperm into space | Science| In-depth reporting on science and technology | DW | 12.04.2018: With the new experiment, the US space agency wants to research how human sperm cells react to microgravity — and whether humans could procreate in space. Other mammals have had little success so far.

Goldman asks: 'Is curing patients a sustainable business model?'

You would think so, considering dead people buy and invest little. Goldman asks: 'Is curing patients a sustainable business model?': Goldman Sachs warns sales from the most successful disease treatments are difficult to maintain.

For Candy Fans, the Only Thing Worse Than Necco Wafers Is No Necco Wafers - WSJ

Makers of antique candies like Clark bars and Sweethearts. And Mary Janes, meaning you'll have to roll and smoke them like everyone else. For Candy Fans, the Only Thing Worse Than Necco Wafers Is No Necco Wafers - WSJ: Although Necco wafers taste like ‘drywall’ to some, fans are hoarding the 171-year-old candy as its maker threatens to shut down for good. ‘Sweethearts’ are also on the block.

Woman removes prosthetic ‘magnet’ nose live on air as she shows transformation | Metro News

That snot what I wanted to see. Woman removes prosthetic ‘magnet’ nose live on air as she shows transformation | Metro News: Jayne Hardman appeared on This Morning to show her incredible nose transformation, even pulling it off live on air.

Roofer charged after repossessing roof, police say | FOX13

Paging George Clinton and P-Funk...Roofer charged after repossessing roof, police say | FOX13: A roofing contractor was charged Tuesday after removing the shingles from a customer’s roof during a payment dispute, causing thousands of dollars of damage, police said.

Montreal mother told daughter doesn't count as 2nd passenger in carpool lane | CBC News

The daughter was nine years old. Maybe Mom would've pleased that dopey cop had she let daughter drive and claimed she was teaching. Montreal mother told daughter doesn't count as 2nd passenger in carpool lane | CBC News: A mother from Montreal's West Island plans to contest a $169 traffic ticket she was given for driving in a lane reserved for buses, taxis and carpools with her daughter.

S.Korean Envoy Told Kim Jong-un to Quit Smoking | Chosunilbo AMP

Try telling him that after the US drops the bomb on him. S.Korean Envoy Told Kim Jong-un to Quit Smoking | Chosunilbo AMP: National Security Council chief Chung Eui-yong advised North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to quit…

N.J. state trooper stops a driver for tailgating. He ends up searching the man's underwear for pot. - Philly

Imagine the poor guy telling him, "No that's NOT a pipe, and that's NOT grass surrounding it!"
N.J. state trooper stops a driver for tailgating. He ends up searching the man's underwear for pot. - Philly: Alongside a busy Burlington County highway, a New Jersey state trooper searched for marijuana inside the underpants of a young man he pulled over for tailgating.
- Jan Hefler, Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News

Astronauts could 3D print tools from their own processed faeces | New Scientist

Beats toilet paper and you really can use both sides. Astronauts could 3D print tools from their own processed faeces | New Scientist: Astronauts on long missions won't be able to bring all their tools with them. A new way of turning faeces into 3D-printable plastic may solve that problem

China sperm bank demands loyalty to Communist Party - The Express Tribune

But in return they'll receive the unique nickname, "Cummies." China sperm bank demands loyalty to Communist Party - The Express Tribune

Maid Hajric Star Wars flask at Norwich MJB hotel night porter, court hears | Crime | Eastern Daily Press

"Awful small light saber you got there." Maid Hajric Star Wars flask at Norwich MJB hotel night porter, court hears | Crime | Eastern Daily Press: A drunk father-of-two threw a flask at an MJB hotel night porter before exposing his genitals to police, a court heard.

Lake Howell student arrested after beating child with Pop...

So what did he do, knock the stuffing into him? Lake Howell student arrested after beating child with Pop...: Seminole County deputies arrested a Lake Howell High School student after he beat a victim and purposely smashed a pop tart in their face and hair, according to the report.

Teacher ditches job to become full-time dominatrix with two live-in 'slaves' she walks on dog leads - Mirror Online

What happens when you take corporal punishment out of school. Teacher ditches job to become full-time dominatrix with two live-in 'slaves' she walks on dog leads - Mirror Online: WARNING - SEXUAL THEMES: Dahlia Rain shares her home with two slaves who cook, clean, tidy, buy groceries, and walk the dog in return for ‘rewards’ of the BDSM kind

Ohio woman made lewd comments to Easter Bunny, police say | NBC4i.com

No jokes about large carrots or going down holes, please. Ohio woman made lewd comments to Easter Bunny, police say | NBC4i.com: Police say an Ohio woman has been arrested for making lewd comments to an Easter Bunny.

Campbell Soup nabs snack maker Snyder's-Lance | National / International Business | journalnow.com

Corporate officials announced the new cracker division will fully immerse into the soup. Campbell Soup nabs snack maker Snyder's-Lance | National / International Business | journalnow.com: CHARLOTTE — The maker of Lance peanut butter sandwich crackers and Snyder's of Hanover pretzels is set to be taken over by one of the largest U.S. packaged food companies.

Chance the Rapper Blasts Heineken For 'Terribly Racist' 'Sometimes, Lighter is Better' Ad

As marketing goes, I've seen better heads on a glass of beer. Chance the Rapper Blasts Heineken For 'Terribly Racist' 'Sometimes, Lighter is Better' Ad: Chance isn't saying boycott the beer brand—just noticing out loud how often these types of subliminal advertisements air.

Snake swallows slipper: QLD vet’s lifesaving surgery | The Courier-Mail

So much for those organic python boots. Snake swallows slipper: QLD vet’s lifesaving surgery | The Courier-Mail: A SNAKE that swallowed a slipper has been saved by a Queensland vet.

Florida woman 'marries' 100-year-old tree, hoping to save it - NBC-2.com WBBH News for Fort Myers, Cape Coral & Naples, Florida

Why that tree? Was it when she first saw it, or did it get on one knee and axe? Florida woman 'marries' 100-year-old tree, hoping to save it - NBC-2.com WBBH News for Fort Myers, Cape Coral & Naples, Florida: Karen Cooper was ready to go out on a limb to save her beloved, so she got married - to a tree.

Billy Busch, Anheuser-Busch Heir, Charged With Assaulting 6th Grader at Basketball Practice | News Blog

Saddest thing is all this time he thought they were Buds. Billy Busch, Anheuser-Busch Heir, Charged With Assaulting 6th Grader at Basketball Practice | News Blog: Update: 4:30 p.m. Saturday — Statements from Billy Busch's attorney and the father of the boy he is accused of assaulting have been attached to...

Man tells woman he was poisoned; will die unless she has sex with him - NZ Herald

"See, look between my legs. I'm stiffening up already!" Man tells woman he was poisoned; will die unless she has sex with him - NZ Herald: Man said he had to sweat out toxin he had been forced to drink - and sex was the only way.

Caller asks Eloy police if the dinosaurs in the park are real | News | pinalcentral.com

"Yes, they are. They've been alive millions of years and are standing still to take a rest." Caller asks Eloy police if the dinosaurs in the park are real | News | pinalcentral.com: ELOY -- Police were called to investigate whether Eloy's Main Street Park was actually Jurassic Park last week.

Watch: Bear walks outside of hotel with food bag - UPI.com

What was he trying to do? Get toast for his honey? Watch: Bear walks outside of hotel with food bag - UPI.com: A guest at a Tennessee hotel shared video of the black bear she found carrying a take-out bag of food right outside of her room.

Lottery Changes 'Luck Yeah!' Campaign Over Profanity Concern - The New York Times

And raising the middle finger didn't mean you're the #1 winner. Lottery Changes 'Luck Yeah!' Campaign Over Profanity Concern - The New York Times: The New Hampshire Lottery Commission has replaced its

Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston

They responded, "Of course we're for sale. But you need to be so obvious?" Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston: A Massachusetts lawmaker wants the “General Hooker Entrance” sign removed from the State House because she calls it a double entendre.

Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston

Apparently the legislators mistook it for their personal entrance. Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston: A Massachusetts lawmaker wants the “General Hooker Entrance” sign removed from the State House because she calls it a double entendre.

YouTube gun ban drives bloggers to PornHub - BBC News

Where "Don't shoot" has an entirely different meaning. YouTube gun ban drives bloggers to PornHub - BBC News: The video-sharing site has banned videos that show people how to manufacture or modify guns.

WATCH: He told cops 'I'm a f--king judge' after failed sobriety test. And he beat DWI rap. | NJ.com

Maybe he confused it with a hung jury?WATCH: He told cops 'I'm a f--king judge' after failed sobriety test. And he beat DWI rap. | NJ.com: A municipal court judge faces an ethics inquiry after berating state troopers during drunken driving investigation.

Not high on inspiration: Ontario Cannabis Store logo derided as boring - Toronto - CBC News

Then again, have to admire their bluntness. Not high on inspiration: Ontario Cannabis Store logo derided as boring - Toronto - CBC News: The Ontario government announced the name and branding for its cannabis agency Friday, and those looking for the wacky, colourful branding that has been a staple of the underground marijuana industry might be disappointed.

Stormy Daniels' Lawyer's Coffee Chain Just Ran Out of Coffee | Time

You look at Stormy and shudder to think why they have not yet run out of milk. Stormy Daniels' Lawyer's Coffee Chain Just Ran Out of Coffee | Time: Michael Avenatti, lawyer for Stormy Daniels, has a stake in Tully's Coffee. And apparently they're currently out of coffee beans.

khou.com | East Texas police searching for 'Stinky Butt'

You'd think police are on the scent. khou.com | East Texas police searching for 'Stinky Butt'

Utah GOP governor: Naming a highway after Trump is 'a little premature' | TheHill

Especially since he's given us a bumpy ride the last two years. Utah GOP governor: Naming a highway after Trump is 'a little premature' | TheHill: Utah Gov. Gary Herbert (R) said Tuesday that a GOP-sponsored proposal to name a state highway after President Trump would be “premature.”

KFC replaces Col. Sanders with his wife for International Women's Day

And anyone complimenting her breasts and legs gets sent to the principal. KFC replaces Col. Sanders with his wife for International Women's Day: In celebration of International Women’s Day, KFC Malaysia has replaced the iconic Colonel as the face of the company with his wife, Claudia Sanders.

North Korea to launch new TV soap operas - BBC News

Titles include "Maul My Children," and "The Jung-Un the Lifeless." North Korea to launch new TV soap operas - BBC News: State-run television to revisit familiar themes of warfare and patriotism.

Chinese toddler ‘disables iPhone for 47 years’ | South China Morning Post

One silver lining: it's good for kids to learn to play with bricks. Chinese toddler ‘disables iPhone for 47 years’ | South China Morning Post: Boy playing with a phone repeatedly entered wrong passcode, ratcheting up the time the handset was disabled, according to a Chinese news website report

She had a colonoscopy without anesthesia - but it was on her bill anyway - Philly

This would really make you lose your s--t. She had a colonoscopy without anesthesia - but it was on her bill anyway - Philly: Judy Politzer had a colonoscopy without anesthesia - then got a bill that included anesthesia.
- Sarah Gantz, Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News

About 60,000 pounds of Busch Beer spills onto I-10 in Florida

Drivers have successfully avoided the area, nearly as well as they have the beer. About 60,000 pounds of Busch Beer spills onto I-10 in Florida: A South Carolina man made a mess on a Florida interstate Wednesday morning after the tractor-trailer he was driving overturned, spilling about 60,000 pounds of Busch Beer onto the highway.

UPDATE: Suspicious bags found at federal courthouse in Florence contained hot dogs | WHNT.com

Thankfully cops had Armour for events sausage this. UPDATE: Suspicious bags found at federal courthouse in Florence contained hot dogs | WHNT.com: FLORENCE, Ala. - The Florence Police Department has cleared two suspicious bags found Wednesday morning at the federal courthouse downtown.  It turns out they contained hot dogs.

The price of toilet paper triggers a panic in Taiwan - The tissue issue

They'll definitely lose their s--t over having Taipei more. The price of toilet paper triggers a panic in Taiwan - The tissue issue: IN ANXIOUS times, political leaders try to assuage fears. So it was this week when William Lai, Taiwan’s prime minister, appealed for calm after a run on that most essential of goods, toilet paper. Reports of looming price increases had started the panic.

Man has 7-INCH plastic sex toy removed through his penis after instrument got stuck in his bladder - Mirror Online

The doctor treating him was named Bang-Bing. If he'd done THAT he wouldn't have had this problem. Man has 7-INCH plastic sex toy removed through his penis after instrument got stuck in his bladder - Mirror Online: The unnamed patient, reportedly in his 30s, refused to see a doctor for more than two days after getting the toy lodged
while engaging in 'urethral play'         

The doctor treating him was named Bang-bing. If this guy had done THAT he wouldn't have this trouble. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-7-inch-plastic-sex-12131965

Young men enticed to vote for Vladimir Putin in upcoming Russia election with bizarre video of lingerie-clad models - Mirror Online

Glad to see Russia bringing more transparency to its election process. Young men enticed to vote for Vladimir Putin in upcoming Russia election with bizarre video of lingerie-clad models - Mirror Online: It's not clear who the clip was commissioned by - but is believed to be part of a covert strategy to ensure voters go to the polls

Boy gets trapped in lift in China after peeing on control buttons, East Asia News & Top Stories - The Straits Times

Heard of getting p--sed off. But up?Boy gets trapped in lift in China after peeing on control buttons, East Asia News & Top Stories - The Straits Times: A young boy from Chongqing in south-west China became a victim of his own prank after he urinated on a set of lift buttons and became trapped.. Read more at straitstimes.com.

Longtime radio host John DeBella sued for sexual harassment : Community : WHYY

U2, John? Who do ya think you are, Rolling your Stones against some girl and grabbing her Hooters? You got some Kinks. Longtime radio host John DeBella sued for sexual harassment : Community : WHYY

Bizarre moment female air passenger is caught on camera using an overhead air vent to dry her knickers

Why'd they need it? Had she joined the mile dry club? Bizarre moment female air passenger is caught on camera using an overhead air vent to dry her knickers: The woman shocked fellow travellers on the flight with Ural Airlines from the Turkish resort city of Antalya to the Russian capital Moscow

‘It worked’: Indian farmer posts porn star’s photo to ‘ward off evil eye’ — RT World News

Makes guys' stalks grow, but what will it do for corn? ‘It worked’: Indian farmer posts porn star’s photo to ‘ward off evil eye’ — RT World News: An Indian farmer erected a large poster of actress Sunny Leone to keep his crops safe from the “evil eye” of fellow villagers. The unusual version of a scarecrow did the trick, he claims.

Pune Woman Becomes Grandmother With Dead Son's Preserved Semen - News18

Well, she always called the kid her little squirt. Pune Woman Becomes Grandmother With Dead Son's Preserved Semen - News18: Doctors at Pune's Sahyadri Hospital performed the in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) procedure and fused Prathamesh Patil's semen, extracted and preserved long before his death in Germany, with the eggs of a donor to form embryos.

David Romig: Florida suspect texted detective, not wife, about girlfriend's death - wptv.com

This bad text will earn him a lifetime cell plan. Limited coverage though - 6 x 6. David Romig: Florida suspect texted detective, not wife, about girlfriend's death - wptv.com: A Florida man who thought he was texting his wife but instead nervously messaged a detective "I think they are going to arrest me" was charged with murder in the death of his live-in...

Duterte suggests troops should shoot female rebels in vagina

This idiot doesn't realize women are strongest when men aim there. Duterte suggests troops should shoot female rebels in vagina: Duterte "has distinguished himself as a frothing-in-the-mouth fascist," said Cristina Palabay, head of the Philippine rights group Karapatan.

‘womb witch' advises women to drink their own blood | Daily Mail Online

This HAS to B negative for ladies. ‘womb witch' advises women to drink their own blood | Daily Mail Online: Australian-born, Bali-based healer Nadine Lee, 30, says drinking their menstrual blood can offer women a way to 'clear their vision' and 'awaken their spiritual centres'.

Valentine condom campaign urges lovers to think of animals

Specifically white snakes,  dogs in heat, multiplying like rabbits... Valentine condom campaign urges lovers to think of animals: The latest news and headlines from Yahoo! News. Get breaking news stories and in-depth coverage with videos and photos.

Starbucks sued after 2-year-old customer allegedly drank barista's blood | Fox News

And you thought it was nasty when the Christmas cups were red. Starbucks sued after 2-year-old customer allegedly drank barista's blood | Fox News: Starbucks, which made waves last Halloween with its drippy red Zombie Frappuccino, is facing a lawsuit from a California family that claims it served them a barista’s actual blood.

Hilarious moment wedding ceremony rudely interrupted by woman's sexual groans blaring over sound system - Mirror Online

You may now...um...kiss the bride. Hilarious moment wedding ceremony rudely interrupted by woman's sexual groans blaring over sound system - Mirror Online: The bride was walking down the aisle to Felix Mendelssohn's wedding march when it was abruptly cut short

Watch: Donkey uninjured by fall through roof of house - UPI.com

Wait, it's safe to land on your ass - not vice versa. Watch: Donkey uninjured by fall through roof of house - UPI.com: An unusual incident at a home in Brazil was caught on camera when a wandering donkey fell through the roof of the residence.

The world's biggest bra has gone up for sale on eBay | Metro News

This ought to sell in a snap, but we'll keep you a breast. The world's biggest bra has gone up for sale on eBay | Metro News: Is it your dream to own the biggest bra in the world? If so, and if you have a few hundred pounds lying around, you're in luck - because the...

State police apologizes for tying prison rape to drunken driving in Super Bowl Tweet | Lexington Herald Leader

Might have been better had they just mentioned a penalty for illegal use of hands. State police apologizes for tying prison rape to drunken driving in Super Bowl Tweet | Lexington Herald Leader: Kentucky State Police apologized Sunday night for a tweet made on the agency’s official account that alluded to rape in prison as reason to avoid drinking and diving. The tweet was deleted about two hours after it was posted.

Eagles fan literally eats horse poop after Super Bowl win | PhillyVoice

Likely making up for Cris Collinsworth being full of it. Or being a Nick Foals souvenir. Eagles fan literally eats horse poop after Super Bowl win | PhillyVoice: Hey man, I was pretty stoked after the Eagles vanquished the mighty New England Patriots on Sunday night to win the Super Bowl, and I did my fair share of celebrating along with everyone else on Broad Street.

China commends Theresa May for 'sidestepping' human rights | World news | The Guardian

With friends like these...China commends Theresa May for 'sidestepping' human rights | World news | The Guardian: State-run media calls British PM pragmatic for ignoring ‘noise and nagging’ from ‘radical public opinion’ while on visit

Winter Olympics: Athletes welcomed with condoms - CNN

Pole vault and javelin teams expressed particular interest. Winter Olympics: Athletes welcomed with condoms - CNN: Organizers of the South Korea games will supply athletes with 110,000 condoms. That's 10,000 more than the number handed out at the Sochi Winter Olympics.

Man caught masturbating in Burger King | Fox News

Yes, it did take two hands to hold his Whopper. Man caught masturbating in Burger King | Fox News: The 24-year-old was arrested for indecent exposure.

Pensioner, 80, 'pushed entire arm into cow's rectum and masturbated' | Metro News

Jerky beef? Or how to get a fresh serving of liver? Pensioner, 80, 'pushed entire arm into cow's rectum and masturbated' | Metro News: A pensioner has been banned from every farm in Britain after he allegedly pushed his fist into a cow's rectum and performed a sex act. John Curno, 80, was found...

Elephants spotted waiting for ride on Oklahoma roadside

But would the car fit his trunk? Elephants spotted waiting for ride on Oklahoma roadside: The latest news and headlines from Yahoo! News. Get breaking news stories and in-depth coverage with videos and photos.

'Gay Tests' for Refugees in Europe Should Be Banned, Says Court

These should be banned, and definitely the study guides. 'Gay Tests' for Refugees in Europe Should Be Banned, Says Court: Hungarian authorities refused an application from a Nigerian man after he failed a homosexuality test.

Adult film legend Ron Jeremy banned from porn awards | Page Six

But could he inch his way in? Adult film legend Ron Jeremy banned from porn awards | Page Six: AVN says he violated their code of conduct.

Las Vegas dad accused in attack with jar of cheese dip – Las Vegas Review-Journal

Nacho usual queso assault. And Pop won't be Frito leave for a while.Las Vegas dad accused in attack with jar of cheese dip – Las Vegas Review-Journal: A Las Vegas man was arrested Sunday after allegedly striking his daughter in the face with a jar of cheese dip.

News-News Releases-Cougar Sighting

She's rumored to have long claws (painted pink), a black hair mane with highlights, long legs with a short skirt and has been seen with several cubs 20 years younger. News-News Releases-Cougar Sighting: State conservation officials investigated unconfirmed reports of a cougar sighting at East Branch Forest Preserve in Glendale Heights.

Boston TV station uses Aaron Hernandez pic in post about Pats win - NY Daily News

Sorry, even New England can't pull off THIS kind of comeback. Boston TV station uses Aaron Hernandez pic in post about Pats win - NY Daily News: This Boston TV station’s pic turned out to be a bust.

Man allegedly punches himself in the face to avoid breathalyzer | WGME

Knocked out drunk? Man allegedly punches himself in the face to avoid breathalyzer | WGME: BELFAST, Maine (WGME) – Belfast police say they have arrested a man who allegedly punched himself in the face to avoid a breathalyzer test.Police say they found the car of 27-year-old Brian Fogg in a ditch early Saturday morning on Waterville Road.When the

Watch: 5 1/2 foot tape worm grew inside sushi lover for months - UPI.com

Wait. Worms should catch FISH, not vice versa. Watch: 5 1/2 foot tape worm grew inside sushi lover for months - UPI.com: A California doctor said a 5 1/2 foot tape worm a man found dangling from his rear during a bathroom trip had been growing inside him for months.

Chicago man says he noticed bad smell, but didn't know wife died - Story | WFLD

What did he think, she had to change her brand of cologne? Chicago man says he noticed bad smell, but didn't know wife died - Story | WFLD: Steven Seiler told police that, for about a month, he had noticed a bad smell coming from the bedroom of the Uptown apartment he shared with his wife, but he never bothered to look inside.

Decades of semen squirting land offender in state prison | lehighvalleylive.com

Where no doubt, he'll have mandatory opportunities to squirt and be squirted. Decades of semen squirting land offender in state prison | lehighvalleylive.com: Michael Kevin Morris has been a documented semen thrower for about 40 years.

Pakistani humanist denied UK asylum after failing to identify Plato | UK news | The Guardian

And they laughed when he told them it was the Disney dog that didn't talk. Pakistani humanist denied UK asylum after failing to identify Plato | UK news | The Guardian: Man who renounced Islam says he has received death threats from family members in Pakistan

Alien sightings are no excuse for filing your tax return late - Channel NewsAsia

After all, April 15 isn't "Independence Day." Alien sightings are no excuse for filing your tax return late - Channel NewsAsia

Woman takes her cat to the vet - then finds it selling on Facebook marketplace for £50

Nice to see veterenarians value their clients. Woman takes her cat to the vet - then finds it selling on Facebook marketplace for £50: A woman was shocked to find her cat being sold on Facebook marketplace for £50 after taking him to the vets.

Trump can’t be racist because he had a TV show: Sanders | New York Post

So did Archie Bunker, and his ran for 10 years! Trump can’t be racist because he had a TV show: Sanders | New York Post: The White House on Tuesday continued to push back against accusations that President Trump was a racist — with his spokeswoman citing his decade-long stint on...

Webster man charged in manhole cover thefts - News - telegram.com - Worcester, MA

Sewer they got the right man? Webster man charged in manhole cover thefts - News - telegram.com - Worcester, MA: WEBSTER – A 46-year-old man was arrested Friday and accused of stealing seven manhole covers from town roads earlier in the week.Darrin P. Lavallee, 34 Market St., Apt. 2,  faces charges of larceny in connection with the theft.The alleged thief was apparently thoughtful enough to put traffic cones in place of the heavy-duty covers in an attempt to minimize the danger to motorists Wednesday, police said.Because of the “brazen, daylight crime,” Lt. Tobby Wheeler said,

App creates ‘legally binding contracts’ for one night stands to prove sex is consensual | Metro News

With 30 days notice before you withdraw? That could hurt. App creates ‘legally binding contracts’ for one night stands to prove sex is consensual | Metro News: Ever thought casual sex would be a lot easier if there was a legally binding contract proving consent? Well, as it’s 2018, there’s now an app for that. Let’s say...

Climate Change Means 'Virtually No Male Turtles' Born In A Key Nesting Ground : The Two-Way : NPR

So much for coming out of their shell - or in it. Climate Change Means 'Virtually No Male Turtles' Born In A Key Nesting Ground : The Two-Way : NPR: Like many reptiles, the sex of a turtle is determined by how warm the egg is as it's being incubated. And small temperature differences can cause dramatic changes in the male-to-female ratio.

Woman's 'meaningful' t-shirt says something extremely rude down the side - Mirror Online

A growing fraternity, and hard to get in. Woman's 'meaningful' t-shirt says something extremely rude down the side - Mirror Online: The t-shirt is a less than subtle joke

WWE star rescued after being trapped in airplane bathroom | Fox News

Victim of that new wrestling move, the cargo hold. WWE star rescued after being trapped in airplane bathroom | Fox News: The wrestler said he was “getting so hot” waiting for the flight attendants to break him out of the tiny lavatory.

TPD: Man ripped urinal from wall at Miller's Ale House

When you gotta go....TPD: Man ripped urinal from wall at Miller's Ale House: A man ripped a urinal off the bathroom wall at Miller's Ale House then ran from the restaurant and into the woods completely naked, according to TPD.

Florida man caught with 'full rack of ribs' in his pants, police say | Fox News

No jokes about no meat on his bone, please. Florida man caught with 'full rack of ribs' in his pants, police say | Fox News: A Florida man with a feast stuffed in his pants was arrested trying to sneak out of a grocery store, police said.

With ingestible pill, you can track fart development in real time on your phone | Ars Technica

What will they stink of next? With ingestible pill, you can track fart development in real time on your phone | Ars Technica: First human trials reveal gut gas chambers and blustery effects of diet.

Look: Python surprises Australian woman by slithering into her bed - UPI.com

And no, not the one-eyed trouser variety. Look: Python surprises Australian woman by slithering into her bed - UPI.com: An Australian snake catcher shared a photo of the unexpected intruder a resident found in bed with them in the middle of the night -- a large python.

Haryana Female Boxers Return Cows Given As Awards By Govt, Say They Are Rude And Don't Give Milk

Hard asking for milk when you're used to getting punch. Besides, would polite cows say "Please mooove?"  Haryana Female Boxers Return Cows Given As Awards By Govt, Say They Are Rude And Don't Give Milk: Family of Neetu returned their cow as it did not give milk. Family of Jyoti returned theirs because the cow was not just reluctant in giving milk but was violent too.

Neo-Nazi Conspiracy Theory: 'Jews' Are Trying To Get America Stoned On Legal Marijuana

So THAT'S who's telling people to get heil? Neo-Nazi Conspiracy Theory: 'Jews' Are Trying To Get America Stoned On Legal Marijuana: Daily Stormer has urged readers not to do drugs, despite a documented history of usage from its proprietors.

Fans leave Wizards game concerned over strange odor - NY Daily News

And the Sixers weren't even playing. Fans leave Wizards game concerned over strange odor - NY Daily News: The Wizards loss wasn't the only thing that stunk Saturday night.

Woman searching for love goes to extreme measures get a date with 'sexy train conductor' - Mirror Online

But was she trying to make a connection, or just get off? Woman searching for love goes to extreme measures get a date with 'sexy train conductor' - Mirror Online: What do you do when you see someone special but they disappear before you get the chance to make your move?

You can now get your boyfriend’s head printed on this sex toy… and it’s just a little bit creepy

Ladies,  don't you put up with him enough now? You can now get your boyfriend’s head printed on this sex toy… and it’s just a little bit creepy: Swedish manufacturer Wobbling Willy has created a sex toy that customers can have customised with a 3D model of anyone’s face. On the website, the product is billed as being perfect for couples in long distance relationships and those who might be missing their other half

At Denton Golf Course, Feral Hogs Provide Unusual Hazard - NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth

In this case, might ask guys with guns, rather than clubs, to make a hole in one. At Denton Golf Course, Feral Hogs Provide Unusual Hazard - NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth

Irish villagers complain Viagra plant fumes have men and dogs walking around with 'hard-ons'

Which also makes it harder to tell them apart. Irish villagers complain Viagra plant fumes have men and dogs walking around with 'hard-ons'