Streaker can't get off field at Jacksonville baseball game

Name of the team: Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. Some jokes write themselves.Streaker can't get off field at Jacksonville baseball game: A streaker at a Jacksonville minor league baseball game couldn't climb the wall to get back off the field on Thursday night.

Japanese “Human Pet House” Made For People Who Want To Be Cats – grape

Of course, nothing new to husbands who've been in the doghouse for years. Japanese “Human Pet House” Made For People Who Want To Be Cats – grape

Judge faces punishment for having sex in his chambers

Now you know why justice wears that blindfold. Judge faces punishment for having sex in his chambers: BOSTON — Massachusetts’ highest court will meet to consider the punishment for a judge who admitted to having a relationship with a courthouse employee...

Hilarious typo on pack of sausages sends internet into hysterics after being spotted by eagle-eyed shopper

You can make it yourself at home. Just don't give me any. Hilarious typo on pack of sausages sends internet into hysterics after being spotted by eagle-eyed shopper: An Aussie meat supplier made the unfortunate error on a packet of Angus beef bangers in Adelaide

Testicle Festival canceled following deaths, attendance decline | Local | missoulian.com

A shame, when so many people were having a ball there. Testicle Festival canceled following deaths, attendance decline | Local | missoulian.com: After 35 years of drinking, nudity, debauchery and tens of thousands of Rocky Mountain oysters, the Testicle Festival is over.

Devon rapist who pretended to be ghost jailed for 26 years - BBC News

Wasn't a ghost but definitely a demon, but he'll spend a lot of time booing under sheets in jail. By the way, this grew from a Ouija board game; yet another reminder Satan is not to be f--ked with. Devon rapist who pretended to be ghost jailed for 26 years - BBC News: Liam Clarke knew his young victim was terrified of evil spirits and used that exploit her.

Homeowner finds naked intruder in her bathtub eating Cheetos - KMOV.com

Flaming Hot bath? And orange you glad she washed her hands?Homeowner finds naked intruder in her bathtub eating Cheetos - KMOV.com: Police in Louisiana say a woman came home to discover a naked stranger in her tub, eating her Cheetos while taking a bath.

'U Suck' sign sparks apology from Washington State transportation officials | Fox News

And worse, it followed a sign telling drivers to get off. 'U Suck' sign sparks apology from Washington State transportation officials | Fox News: A “training error” is to blame for an “inappropriate message” that was posted on a sign along Interest Highway 5 in Washington State on Tuesday, transportation officials said.

Exorcism by cellphone: Beating the devil in the 21st century

Imagine "dead zones" have deeper meaning here. Exorcism by cellphone: Beating the devil in the 21st century: About 200 aspiring exorcists gathered on Monday for a week-long course in casting out demons - including by cellphone if necessary - amid increased demand for the service among Roman Catholics.

German theatre offers free seats to spectators wearing swastikas | Euronews

Raise your hand heil if interested.German theatre offers free seats to spectators wearing swastikas | Euronews: German prosecutors said Wednesday that they would not investigate a theatre offering free tickets to people who accept to wear a swastika during a play named after Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf, because of artistic freedom laws.

Spiderman window washer sentenced to 105 years for child porn - KXAN

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, lock him up in the garbage can. On the Web, he's a perv. But in prison he'll lose his nerve. LOOK OUT! There goes the Spider-Man...Spiderman window washer sentenced to 105 years for child porn - KXAN:  “The sentence imposed by the Court should insure that this defendant will never have another opportunity to inflict his perverted sexual desires upon another innocent child."

St. Pete man arrested after lying about Hooters sign falling on foot - WFLA

 It's what you get for looking down at the OOs instead of up. St. Pete man arrested after lying about Hooters sign falling on foot - WFLA: A St. Petersburg man said the letter "o" from a Hooters sign blew off the wall and landed on his foot, leaving him with injuries. But video of the incident tells another story.

Only The Smelliest: Hokkaido Shoe Thief Caught On Tape Sniffing & Stealing Fragrant Footwear [Video] | Japankyo

Clearly a sick man, and police have consulted Dr. Scholl for treatment. Only The Smelliest: Hokkaido Shoe Thief Caught On Tape Sniffing & Stealing Fragrant Footwear [Video] | Japankyo: He's a somelier of stinky shoes. A man in Hokkaido with an alleged penchant for stealing odorous footwear has been arrested after police used security camera

NASA shoots human sperm into space | Science| In-depth reporting on science and technology | DW | 12.04.2018

No jokes about milky ways or black holes, please. NASA shoots human sperm into space | Science| In-depth reporting on science and technology | DW | 12.04.2018: With the new experiment, the US space agency wants to research how human sperm cells react to microgravity — and whether humans could procreate in space. Other mammals have had little success so far.

Goldman asks: 'Is curing patients a sustainable business model?'

You would think so, considering dead people buy and invest little. Goldman asks: 'Is curing patients a sustainable business model?': Goldman Sachs warns sales from the most successful disease treatments are difficult to maintain.

For Candy Fans, the Only Thing Worse Than Necco Wafers Is No Necco Wafers - WSJ

Makers of antique candies like Clark bars and Sweethearts. And Mary Janes, meaning you'll have to roll and smoke them like everyone else. For Candy Fans, the Only Thing Worse Than Necco Wafers Is No Necco Wafers - WSJ: Although Necco wafers taste like ‘drywall’ to some, fans are hoarding the 171-year-old candy as its maker threatens to shut down for good. ‘Sweethearts’ are also on the block.

Woman removes prosthetic ‘magnet’ nose live on air as she shows transformation | Metro News

That snot what I wanted to see. Woman removes prosthetic ‘magnet’ nose live on air as she shows transformation | Metro News: Jayne Hardman appeared on This Morning to show her incredible nose transformation, even pulling it off live on air.

Roofer charged after repossessing roof, police say | FOX13

Paging George Clinton and P-Funk...Roofer charged after repossessing roof, police say | FOX13: A roofing contractor was charged Tuesday after removing the shingles from a customer’s roof during a payment dispute, causing thousands of dollars of damage, police said.

Montreal mother told daughter doesn't count as 2nd passenger in carpool lane | CBC News

The daughter was nine years old. Maybe Mom would've pleased that dopey cop had she let daughter drive and claimed she was teaching. Montreal mother told daughter doesn't count as 2nd passenger in carpool lane | CBC News: A mother from Montreal's West Island plans to contest a $169 traffic ticket she was given for driving in a lane reserved for buses, taxis and carpools with her daughter.

S.Korean Envoy Told Kim Jong-un to Quit Smoking | Chosunilbo AMP

Try telling him that after the US drops the bomb on him. S.Korean Envoy Told Kim Jong-un to Quit Smoking | Chosunilbo AMP: National Security Council chief Chung Eui-yong advised North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to quit…

N.J. state trooper stops a driver for tailgating. He ends up searching the man's underwear for pot. - Philly

Imagine the poor guy telling him, "No that's NOT a pipe, and that's NOT grass surrounding it!"
N.J. state trooper stops a driver for tailgating. He ends up searching the man's underwear for pot. - Philly: Alongside a busy Burlington County highway, a New Jersey state trooper searched for marijuana inside the underpants of a young man he pulled over for tailgating.
- Jan Hefler, Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News

Astronauts could 3D print tools from their own processed faeces | New Scientist

Beats toilet paper and you really can use both sides. Astronauts could 3D print tools from their own processed faeces | New Scientist: Astronauts on long missions won't be able to bring all their tools with them. A new way of turning faeces into 3D-printable plastic may solve that problem

China sperm bank demands loyalty to Communist Party - The Express Tribune

But in return they'll receive the unique nickname, "Cummies." China sperm bank demands loyalty to Communist Party - The Express Tribune