Maid Hajric Star Wars flask at Norwich MJB hotel night porter, court hears | Crime | Eastern Daily Press

"Awful small light saber you got there." Maid Hajric Star Wars flask at Norwich MJB hotel night porter, court hears | Crime | Eastern Daily Press: A drunk father-of-two threw a flask at an MJB hotel night porter before exposing his genitals to police, a court heard.

Lake Howell student arrested after beating child with Pop...

So what did he do, knock the stuffing into him? Lake Howell student arrested after beating child with Pop...: Seminole County deputies arrested a Lake Howell High School student after he beat a victim and purposely smashed a pop tart in their face and hair, according to the report.

Teacher ditches job to become full-time dominatrix with two live-in 'slaves' she walks on dog leads - Mirror Online

What happens when you take corporal punishment out of school. Teacher ditches job to become full-time dominatrix with two live-in 'slaves' she walks on dog leads - Mirror Online: WARNING - SEXUAL THEMES: Dahlia Rain shares her home with two slaves who cook, clean, tidy, buy groceries, and walk the dog in return for ‘rewards’ of the BDSM kind

Ohio woman made lewd comments to Easter Bunny, police say | NBC4i.com

No jokes about large carrots or going down holes, please. Ohio woman made lewd comments to Easter Bunny, police say | NBC4i.com: Police say an Ohio woman has been arrested for making lewd comments to an Easter Bunny.

Campbell Soup nabs snack maker Snyder's-Lance | National / International Business | journalnow.com

Corporate officials announced the new cracker division will fully immerse into the soup. Campbell Soup nabs snack maker Snyder's-Lance | National / International Business | journalnow.com: CHARLOTTE — The maker of Lance peanut butter sandwich crackers and Snyder's of Hanover pretzels is set to be taken over by one of the largest U.S. packaged food companies.

Chance the Rapper Blasts Heineken For 'Terribly Racist' 'Sometimes, Lighter is Better' Ad

As marketing goes, I've seen better heads on a glass of beer. Chance the Rapper Blasts Heineken For 'Terribly Racist' 'Sometimes, Lighter is Better' Ad: Chance isn't saying boycott the beer brand—just noticing out loud how often these types of subliminal advertisements air.

Snake swallows slipper: QLD vet’s lifesaving surgery | The Courier-Mail

So much for those organic python boots. Snake swallows slipper: QLD vet’s lifesaving surgery | The Courier-Mail: A SNAKE that swallowed a slipper has been saved by a Queensland vet.

Florida woman 'marries' 100-year-old tree, hoping to save it - NBC-2.com WBBH News for Fort Myers, Cape Coral & Naples, Florida

Why that tree? Was it when she first saw it, or did it get on one knee and axe? Florida woman 'marries' 100-year-old tree, hoping to save it - NBC-2.com WBBH News for Fort Myers, Cape Coral & Naples, Florida: Karen Cooper was ready to go out on a limb to save her beloved, so she got married - to a tree.

Billy Busch, Anheuser-Busch Heir, Charged With Assaulting 6th Grader at Basketball Practice | News Blog

Saddest thing is all this time he thought they were Buds. Billy Busch, Anheuser-Busch Heir, Charged With Assaulting 6th Grader at Basketball Practice | News Blog: Update: 4:30 p.m. Saturday — Statements from Billy Busch's attorney and the father of the boy he is accused of assaulting have been attached to...

Man tells woman he was poisoned; will die unless she has sex with him - NZ Herald

"See, look between my legs. I'm stiffening up already!" Man tells woman he was poisoned; will die unless she has sex with him - NZ Herald: Man said he had to sweat out toxin he had been forced to drink - and sex was the only way.

Caller asks Eloy police if the dinosaurs in the park are real | News | pinalcentral.com

"Yes, they are. They've been alive millions of years and are standing still to take a rest." Caller asks Eloy police if the dinosaurs in the park are real | News | pinalcentral.com: ELOY -- Police were called to investigate whether Eloy's Main Street Park was actually Jurassic Park last week.

Watch: Bear walks outside of hotel with food bag - UPI.com

What was he trying to do? Get toast for his honey? Watch: Bear walks outside of hotel with food bag - UPI.com: A guest at a Tennessee hotel shared video of the black bear she found carrying a take-out bag of food right outside of her room.

Lottery Changes 'Luck Yeah!' Campaign Over Profanity Concern - The New York Times

And raising the middle finger didn't mean you're the #1 winner. Lottery Changes 'Luck Yeah!' Campaign Over Profanity Concern - The New York Times: The New Hampshire Lottery Commission has replaced its

Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston

They responded, "Of course we're for sale. But you need to be so obvious?" Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston: A Massachusetts lawmaker wants the “General Hooker Entrance” sign removed from the State House because she calls it a double entendre.

Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston

Apparently the legislators mistook it for their personal entrance. Lawmaker Wants ‘General Hooker’ Sign Removed State House « CBS Boston: A Massachusetts lawmaker wants the “General Hooker Entrance” sign removed from the State House because she calls it a double entendre.

YouTube gun ban drives bloggers to PornHub - BBC News

Where "Don't shoot" has an entirely different meaning. YouTube gun ban drives bloggers to PornHub - BBC News: The video-sharing site has banned videos that show people how to manufacture or modify guns.

WATCH: He told cops 'I'm a f--king judge' after failed sobriety test. And he beat DWI rap. | NJ.com

Maybe he confused it with a hung jury?WATCH: He told cops 'I'm a f--king judge' after failed sobriety test. And he beat DWI rap. | NJ.com: A municipal court judge faces an ethics inquiry after berating state troopers during drunken driving investigation.

Not high on inspiration: Ontario Cannabis Store logo derided as boring - Toronto - CBC News

Then again, have to admire their bluntness. Not high on inspiration: Ontario Cannabis Store logo derided as boring - Toronto - CBC News: The Ontario government announced the name and branding for its cannabis agency Friday, and those looking for the wacky, colourful branding that has been a staple of the underground marijuana industry might be disappointed.

Stormy Daniels' Lawyer's Coffee Chain Just Ran Out of Coffee | Time

You look at Stormy and shudder to think why they have not yet run out of milk. Stormy Daniels' Lawyer's Coffee Chain Just Ran Out of Coffee | Time: Michael Avenatti, lawyer for Stormy Daniels, has a stake in Tully's Coffee. And apparently they're currently out of coffee beans.

khou.com | East Texas police searching for 'Stinky Butt'

You'd think police are on the scent. khou.com | East Texas police searching for 'Stinky Butt'

Utah GOP governor: Naming a highway after Trump is 'a little premature' | TheHill

Especially since he's given us a bumpy ride the last two years. Utah GOP governor: Naming a highway after Trump is 'a little premature' | TheHill: Utah Gov. Gary Herbert (R) said Tuesday that a GOP-sponsored proposal to name a state highway after President Trump would be “premature.”

KFC replaces Col. Sanders with his wife for International Women's Day

And anyone complimenting her breasts and legs gets sent to the principal. KFC replaces Col. Sanders with his wife for International Women's Day: In celebration of International Women’s Day, KFC Malaysia has replaced the iconic Colonel as the face of the company with his wife, Claudia Sanders.

North Korea to launch new TV soap operas - BBC News

Titles include "Maul My Children," and "The Jung-Un the Lifeless." North Korea to launch new TV soap operas - BBC News: State-run television to revisit familiar themes of warfare and patriotism.

Chinese toddler ‘disables iPhone for 47 years’ | South China Morning Post

One silver lining: it's good for kids to learn to play with bricks. Chinese toddler ‘disables iPhone for 47 years’ | South China Morning Post: Boy playing with a phone repeatedly entered wrong passcode, ratcheting up the time the handset was disabled, according to a Chinese news website report

She had a colonoscopy without anesthesia - but it was on her bill anyway - Philly

This would really make you lose your s--t. She had a colonoscopy without anesthesia - but it was on her bill anyway - Philly: Judy Politzer had a colonoscopy without anesthesia - then got a bill that included anesthesia.
- Sarah Gantz, Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News

About 60,000 pounds of Busch Beer spills onto I-10 in Florida

Drivers have successfully avoided the area, nearly as well as they have the beer. About 60,000 pounds of Busch Beer spills onto I-10 in Florida: A South Carolina man made a mess on a Florida interstate Wednesday morning after the tractor-trailer he was driving overturned, spilling about 60,000 pounds of Busch Beer onto the highway.

UPDATE: Suspicious bags found at federal courthouse in Florence contained hot dogs | WHNT.com

Thankfully cops had Armour for events sausage this. UPDATE: Suspicious bags found at federal courthouse in Florence contained hot dogs | WHNT.com: FLORENCE, Ala. - The Florence Police Department has cleared two suspicious bags found Wednesday morning at the federal courthouse downtown.  It turns out they contained hot dogs.

The price of toilet paper triggers a panic in Taiwan - The tissue issue

They'll definitely lose their s--t over having Taipei more. The price of toilet paper triggers a panic in Taiwan - The tissue issue: IN ANXIOUS times, political leaders try to assuage fears. So it was this week when William Lai, Taiwan’s prime minister, appealed for calm after a run on that most essential of goods, toilet paper. Reports of looming price increases had started the panic.

Man has 7-INCH plastic sex toy removed through his penis after instrument got stuck in his bladder - Mirror Online

The doctor treating him was named Bang-Bing. If he'd done THAT he wouldn't have had this problem. Man has 7-INCH plastic sex toy removed through his penis after instrument got stuck in his bladder - Mirror Online: The unnamed patient, reportedly in his 30s, refused to see a doctor for more than two days after getting the toy lodged
while engaging in 'urethral play'         

The doctor treating him was named Bang-bing. If this guy had done THAT he wouldn't have this trouble. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-7-inch-plastic-sex-12131965